my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
