OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize