arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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