I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
