whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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