**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
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