What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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