I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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