Where is the hickey?
i barfeds in our rink
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
