i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
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