I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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