My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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