She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
