as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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