Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
