you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
This is my gift to your gina
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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