i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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