I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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