No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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