Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
