Welp...herpes.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize