i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
