so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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