y did u give ur computer a hand job?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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