508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
