I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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