I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
