A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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