dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
