Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize