i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
