Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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