I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
it's great music for shaving your balls
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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