3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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