I want leopard sheets
thats the plan
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.