Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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