I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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