...so i touched it.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
The ass gains better be worth it
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
