under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
