Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
