in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize