There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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