Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I love having hate sex.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I wear drunk well.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
