I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
