did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
