If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
