you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
