I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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