cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
