yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
this just has baby written all over it
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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