So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
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The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
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It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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