Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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