put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
