dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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