everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
