Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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