I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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