took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize